You’re the real racist, Ngaio

I’ve protested with you. I’ve laughed at your comedy. I’ve spent time speaking with you at local fundraisers. I learned from you how to pronounce your name correctly. But I never noticed that you are racist until today. We all know that Mexican cartels are a big criminal issue and the largest drug smugglers in the world. How is pointing that out weird and racist? In my time in the Peace Corps in the Solomon Islands, the locals always describe people based on looks. Each group of islanders look different and that was how they described each other. Never in a racist way. It seems “racist” is a term used only by racists. You lost credibility with me. I’ll pass on your column from now on and put the SN&R where it belongs, in the burn pile. Forget me bringing friends to your shows anymore. I’m sure you won’t miss me. Good luck in life.

—White Dude, If It Matters

Thanks for supporting cannabis law reform. Thanks for coming to my shows. Thanks for joining the Peace Corps. Thank you for learning how to say “Oon-guy-yo.” I appreciate that. However, I’m not sorry if I hurt your feelings by pointing out that Mexicans aren’t the only ones smuggling marijuana in America. Everyone smuggles weed. Black people. White people. Mexicans. Thai folks. Cops. Everyone. Yet people of color go to jail for marijuana four times more often. When the Department of Justice studied Ferguson, they found that white people were more likely to have contraband in their cars, yet were less likely to be searched or arrested. These are the facts. Don’t forget: Marijuana prohibition was started by a racist (search “Harry Anslinger racist quotes”) and perpetuated by racist ass Tricky Dick Nixon in the late ’60s (http://tinyurl.com/
RacistAssTrickyDick). Trying to single out Mexicans for distributing weed like they are the only ones involved is a racist stance. So if you have fallen prey to the idea that Mexicans are the problem—an idea promoted by drug warriors still trying to use racism to justify their very existence—then you are in fact behaving in a racist manner. We aren’t in the Solomon Islands. This is America. See you at the next protest. Stay woke.

What should I do to celebrate 4/20?

—Hy S. Funk

Um, smoke pot? Seriously, 4/20 is on a Wednesday this year, so I suggest you take the whole week off of work and work your way up from the High Times Cannabis Cup in San Bernardino, April 15-17, to the 4:20 at 4/20 celebration in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. On the way up, you can stop at various California cannabis clubs, speakeasies and pop-up sessions. Or you could fly out to Colorado and take a tour (http://coloradohighlifetours.com/denver-420-festival-tour-2016). Maybe you could roll up to Oregon and check out their scene for a bit. Or follow me on the Cottonmouth Comedy Tour.