Witless Protection

A small-town lawman (Larry the Cable Guy) kidnaps an important government witness (Ivana Milicevic) from her FBI escorts, convinced that they’re really gangsters out to keep her from testifying. American cinema has produced one of its true masterpieces. Larry the Cable Guy’s complex performance redefines the delicate art of film acting, the script by Alan Blomquist and director Charles Robert Carner has the scintillating wit of Preston Sturges, and Carner’s direction combines the showmanship of Steven Spielberg, the formal poetry of Akira Kurosawa, the visual dynamism of Orson Welles … SMACK! SMACK!! Huh? Wha? Oh wow! Thanks, I needed that. Really, now—a Larry the Cable Guy movie unscreened for reviewers before opening; what do you expect? From this kind of witlessness, the only protection is not to see it.