Whack-an-asshat

Some days, I just don’t know where to start.

Is it the chronic asshattery of Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League (and does the league have any other members besides him)?

Donohue’s been all over the conservative airwaves and writing Op-Ed pieces blaming the scandal over covering up pedophilia in the Catholic Church’s hierarchy on the gays.

(Donohue took out ads in The New York Times, complaining that “The Times continues to editorialize about the ‘pedophilia crisis’ when all along it’s been a homosexual crisis.”)

Uh, no, Bill, gay people are not more likely to molest children. You’re lying (which may be a venial sin, but dude, you’ve been doing it so much that there might be a cumulative effect on your salvation). Oh, and if it’s all about the boys, why is it that SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) has so many women members? Isn’t it just that it’s so much easier (even if it’s not true) to smear the gays?

And in this corner, candidate for asshat-of-the-week No. 2: Randy Thomasson, (he runs the group Save California, which—much like the Catholic League is for Bill Donohue—seems to be mostly about his full employment).

Thomasson thinks allowing American citizens to indicate on their official U.S. Census forms that they consider themselves married is a violation of the Defense of Marriage Act, and he says he’s going to file a lawsuit. Of course, it’s waaaay too late to change the official Census forms, and Thomasson knows that—so filing a lawsuit to stop it is pretty much not going to happen.

But the real trick here? If Thomasson says he’s going to file a lawsuit, he can ask everybody who hates gays for more money! And that’s really what it’s all about here, because marriage equality is the law of the land in the capital cities of Canada, Mexico and the United States—yes, that’s right, all of North America—which is a pretty good indicator that it’s all over but the shoutin’. And Randy needs more money from donors so he can shout real loud.

Nonetheless, he qualifies for an asshattery award just because he’s so blindly committed to turning the clock back to an imaginary time before gay people existed.

You know, back when the pope could be trusted.

Compiled from Kel’s Hot Flash.