Welcome to the people’s Summer Guide

When SN&R’s Bill Forman and Don Button asked me to serve as guest editor for its 2005 Summer Guide, the very first word out of my mouth was “Fantastic!”

But before we could make a deal, I told them, let’s get one thing straight: This cannot be just another business-as-usual Summer Guide. No, if Ahnold is going to edit a Summer Guide, you can be sure it will be a Summer Guide of the people. I will see to it that, at long last, their voices are heard when it comes to summer and Sacramento and, you know, things of this nature.

At first, SN&R did not understand. “Well, Ahnold, we don’t know about that,” they whined. “You surely must understand that this is the way things have always been done up here in Sacramento.” I’m telling you, they were like a bunch of girly men, complaining about how afraid they were to give Sacramento a true Summer Guide of the people.

But then we talked some more, and it wasn’t long before we began to see eye to eye: In exchange for promising to call off my special election outlawing free weeklies, SN&R happily agreed to turn over the pages of its Summer Guide to the people of California.

So, this is the promise I make to you, Sacramento, as editor of this, the very first people’s Summer Guide. The pages you see before you have been set free from the special interests who ram the same old summer stories down your throats year in and year out. In fact, I saw to this personally. Not only did I write introductions for all of these stories, but I also insisted that every one of them represent the interest of the people of Sacramento.

Of course, due to certain very important out-of-state commitments, I ended up not being able to see these articles in advance. But I have been assured that they are packed full of terrific stories about deregulation, redistricting, union-busting and other exciting summertime activities. So, from here on the big island of Hawaii, Mariah and I wish you a very happy summer, Sacramento!

—Ahnold

How camp!
Sacramento-area summer camps are as diverse as today’s kids

Life of pie
A summer legacy passed down through generations, the seasonal fruit pie is an art worth mastering

The Tao of Tahoe
A longtime coastal chauvinist finds a reason to head east

Summer cinema
Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the blockbuster

Scorched-earth tactics
Native California plants may be the solution to those summer plant-killing blues

Sweat! Sweat! Sweat!
How to let it go this summer without the accompanying blood and tears

The season of my discontent
Summer’s here, and the time is right for @*#%ing in the streets

Hot dates
More rites of summer to lure you out of your living room