Walk like a crustacean

In elementary school, field day was always the best. Seriously, when else could you win colorful first-place ribbons by tossing eggs, throwing water balloons at classmates or walking backward on all fours? Behave like that during a normal school day and the teacher would punish you by sitting you next to the kid with poop in his drawers. (Somehow, though, it always seemed totally worth it.) Now, as adults, people abandon these animal instincts for more proper modes of behavior. Thankfully, this Saturday is a chance to put aside self-righteous bipedal movements and get back down to Earth, the crustacean way. The crab walk on February 14 is more than a gathering of crabby Sacramentans; it’s a chance to be documented in the holiest of weird-human-history reference books: the Guinness World Records. Yep, you could be listed between “Largest Gathering of People Dressed As Gorillas” and “Most People Belly Dancing Simultaneously.” Basically, the opportunity of a lifetime. Well, until next year, when someone else breaks the record. Then you can be documented as “Person Who Threw the Most Eggs at Someone Who Broke Their Guinness World Record.”