Vuvuzela love or horny bastards?

Blow hard:
World Cup soccer is in full effect. I know this because all of the sudden, every bro in Midtown is wearing a soccer jersey. Out of nowhere. Like they’ve been soccer fans forever or something. Not sure if you can buy jerseys at Target or if they’ve been sitting in drawers since last World Cup in 2006, but soccer jerseys make Americans look like tools. Stick with the tried and true, like your vintage Quincy Douby replica, aight, bros?

Anyway, all these bros are up in arms about those multicolored plastic horns, called vuvuzelas, which South African spectators love to blow incessantly during World Cup matches. Don’t believe me? Even nonbro SN&R freelancer Ted Cox hates ’em (see this week’s Scene&Heard column, “Every goal has its horn”).

Both the French and the Japanese teams are lobbying FIFA, the organization that regulates international soccer, to ban vuvuzelas for the remainder of World Cup play. This idea is stupid.

The French, who couldn’t score a goal for their putain lives in a draw with Uruguay, blamed the vuvuzelas for their inability to concentrate, communicate and execute. Weak.

On the Internets, armchair critics—whose ability to annoy and perturb is much greater than the plastic vuvuzela’s blast—took to YouTube en masse to complain about the horns. Many rants were racist. All of them were annoying.

Last week, Drudge Report’s home page proclaimed that the vuvuzelas are “ruining” the World Cup.

My suggestion: Can it, blowhards.

Because really, what’s more annoying: the vuvuzela’s constant drone or Grant Napear and Jerry Reynold’s incessant product placement and sponsor schilling during Sacramento Kings telecasts? This fast break is sponsored by Carl’s Jr.? Hunkering for a Subway $5 Footlong; tell me more, Jerry! Thanks for “Highlights of the Game,” Jack Daniels, because I’m so wasted I don’t even remember Hasheem Thabeet posterizing Spencer Hawes in the first quarter.

My point: I’ll take the vuvuzela buzz, albeit loud, any day over the Maloofs’ shameless corporate interjection.

Vuvuzelas—which often are heard at Oakland Athletics’ home games, by the way—are a part of live soccer’s culture in South Africa. Banning them during this World Cup would be like banning “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch.

Plus, the sound is transfixing, a calming buzz, and a reminder that the spirit of the game is alive and well. Plus, I find the vuvuzelas easy to tune out. Get over it. (Nick Miller)

Deftones kill Jimmy Kimmel:
I was so zoned in on fellow ’90s rockers Far last month that when Deftones’ Diamond Eyes dropped, I didn’t even chime in (though I took the time to bag on the album’s first single, “Rocket Skates”). But the band was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last week, performing the album’s title track, and oh, what a song it is. In fact, the guitars are so beastly and metal that the Kimmel crowd, Budweiser bros they be, appeared shocked. Not so, though, for true Deftones’ fans at the show—never seen so much moshing on mainstream TV. The song’s lyrics, by Chino Moreno and about bassist Chi Cheng, who’s in coma, are lovely: “Time will see us realign / Diamonds reign across the sky / shower me into the same / realm.” Learn how to help Cheng and find updates on his condition at www.oneloveforchi.com. (N.M.)

Show alert:
Dig hip-hop summertime blowout festivals? Then, check out Sac All-Stars 2010 this Friday, June 18, with Bueno, C-Plus, L-Solo, Sick Fam, Status Goes, Chris Legitamite, Chuuwee, Swiff, TAIS, E-Baby, Tavia Jenkins, Torrey-Tee, Klappa Kid, Lady Remedy, Jae Synth and more, at Colonial Theatre, 3255 Stockton Boulevard; 5:15 p.m.; $7, kids 12 and under free. Tell ’em Sound Advice sent ya. (N.M.)

KDVS frequency still down?:
Cosmo Garvin wrote last week about UC Davis college-radio station KDVS’ troubles getting back on the air—no fault of their own (see “Radio-free radio,” SN&R Bites, June 10). I just tuned in on my radio this morning and, as of going to print, its 90.3 FM frequency still is not up. Anyway, keep checking throughout the week and also listen to KDVS online at www.kdvs.org. (N.M.)