Various artists

What makes “smooth jazz” and Christmas music such an unbeatable combination? As Morgan Twigwhistle-Muldoon, a commercial real estate broker, operating Mohican in the Applied Philosophical Church of Empericology and mother of four so succinctly put it while trying on “Take me, I’m yours!” pumps at the Roseville Galleria Nordstrom’s: “Familiar holiday favorites, but you can move your body quite nicely to them. It’s a perfect soundtrack for shopping, really.” Indeed. These “jazzed-up” chestnuts should be oozing in the background as smartly selected presents are opened under the toniest of yuletide trees inside gated communities across the Sacramento market. Even Kitty O’Neill might do well to feature one of the CD’s instrumental cuts—Gerard Albright’s oleaginous “This Christmas,” perhaps, or Jeff Golub’s “Here Comes Santa Claus”—as background music for one of her orgasmic Lexus commercials. Fore!