Umm …

For the Sacramento Kings fan who already has everything and now just wants to, uh, show off everything: This Sacramento Kings NBA G-string, available via the PM Treasure Chest Etsy shop, costs $9.99 and is—you'll be pleased to learn—custom-made to specifications. If Sactown's finest isn't your jam, you can order a pair that reflects whatever team you're loyal to in a variety of sports. This style is for the guys, but don't worry, ladies, you've got plenty of options, too. http://etsy.me/1jfSgRQ.