Time to feel the post-Burning Man burn

Someone set up a mini-screening room for game three of the World Series. I paused on my way to my tent, curious about the outcome of yet another Giants rally.

A dominatrix appeared, clad in a black corset, fishnets and pleather boots, with a formidable whip in hand.

“You come to Burn the River and you watch baseball? Bend over,” she commanded in a thick Austrian accent.

I lightly laughed and stood still, thinking maybe she'd also laugh and walk away. She issued the command again. I bent over.

Three strikes. I cried a little.

One does not say “no” to things at Burning Man. There are too many potentially amazing, eye-opening experiences. Maybe, in that moment, I could have discovered I'm turned on by stinging pain. As it turns out, I'm not. It just hurts.

To clarify, last Saturday was not Burning Man. It was Burn the River, Sacramento's official Burning Man decompression event, but it held the same principles. There was no money exchanged—a gifting economy prevailed instead. It was a pack it in, pack it out event—in other words, leave no trace. It was participatory—the attendees created the event, not some third-party company.

And Burn the River absolutely delivered as a mini-Burning Man. Camps were set up along the Sacramento River, just north of the airport, and folks drove in from the Bay Area, Southern California, Nevada and even further. By day, it was a picturesque setting for art installations, live music, aerial dancers and crazy costumes. By nightfall, it was a wild party, with sweaty, half-naked bodies gyrating in LED-lit domes.

Being a Burning Man event, there was obviously fire as well: fire spinners, fire-adorned art, a fire-lit bar and a very cool, hard-to-describe installation with fire that moved like billowing sheets of silk.

Gifts often came in the form of alcoholic beverages. One bar was Nicholas Cage-themed. One camp cooked hot dogs at 11 p.m. Another had an impressive assembly line for buttery grilled cheese sandwiches at midnight. A few offered snacks, cookies and coffee—though one went far above with beans roasted on-site, ground by hand and brewed a la pour over. Meanwhile, one guy in a red kimono gave massages—happy endings sometimes offered—while deejays gifted their talents all evening.

The headliner, Doshy, came all the way from Germany. Other names were local and familiar, including Ratchet, G.A.M.M.A., Head Soar and StraightNasty.

Again, being a Burning Man event, there were some surprises beyond the dancing and lounges suspended in air. One came in the form of a magic trick—someone would walk into a room as spectators watched them seem to vanish. A giant, electronic platform for Pong was another object of adoration. Players stood on both sides, their digital paddles created by their weight.

I could easily go on. After all, I was there from about 4 p.m. until morning.

Instead, how about a final endorsement? Burn the River will absolutely give people Burning Man flashbacks, in the warmest, fuzziest of ways. For those who have never been to Burning Man before—concerned about handling its week-long commitment or unable to handle its hefty price tag—consider it the ideal introduction to the Burning Man spirit and community. Learn more at www.sacvalleyspark.org.