Time for a reboot

Complications after my second pregnancy caused postpartum depression, infections and IBS. I felt like I was losing it, and took drugs to induce a breakdown. I was put in a psychiatric facility, misdiagnosed as bipolar and put on medications that sent me to the ER twice. My family dismissed my concerns because of the bipolar diagnosis. My medical records prove a direct correlation between prescribed medications, my subsequent abdominal pains and elevated liver enzymes. But my husband is divorcing me, and has custody of my daughters. I’m unemployed, living with a friend and have no money. I’m ready to kick ass again in my career but have no idea where to start. OK, I do have an idea but I’m scared. I have never believed with all my heart that I am right, and everybody else is wrong. Advice?

Reboot your belief system. Try: I’m wrong. Everyone else is right. Give yourself the gift of reviewing your story from your family’s perspective. Yes, I know that even the thought of it is painful, but you’re already in pain, right? And experience has taught you that birth is a painful process. Rebirth, the process of becoming a new creation, is a painful process, too. Begin by considering the chaos your family endured as your physical, mental and emotional health deteriorated. Have compassion (not guilt) for the chaos your crisis created in their lives. Consider your own response to chaos in situations long before this health crisis. Have you always managed chaos well? What tools helped you, and what qualities should you develop in yourself to stay calm during challenges? Your daughters will learn from you how to handle life’s ups and downs.

After you have played with the possibility that you are wrong, let yourself accept this: Everyone is right. Why not? You thought you were losing it and took drugs to force a breakdown. Your family thought you were losing it, too. Your medical records prove to you that there is a correlation between the mix of meds you were prescribed and your illnesses. Your medical records proved to your doctor and your family that you had a bipolar episode. You don’t know where to start rebooting your life, and then, you do know but you’re scared.

Whew! It takes a lot of energy to maintain both positions inside yourself, and to swing between “I don’t know” and “I know, but I’m frightened.” Be kinder to yourself. Take a baby step forward, then another and another. Eventually you will discover a new reality. From that perspective, you will look back at this situation and realize that, “I’m right. They’re wrong,” or “They’re right. I’m wrong,” or “We’re all right,” are each positions the ego takes to feel better about itself. When we are engaged in soul work, we align with a higher truth.

My friend is dating a man she met on Tinder. Tinder! Shouldn’t she be careful? I suggested she try a site with profiles that offer more information.

Soul mates, dream dates and people you hope to never cross paths with again can be found on all online dating sites. After all, a narcissist can concoct an appealing profile to lure someone in, and seem to be the perfect partner until reality intervenes. Your friend’s man might have been Tinder-curious, joined to explore and is pleasantly surprised to meet a woman he likes. As in most things, time will tell.