This new tablet lets you tap, swipe and eat

A French woman asks if I’ve dined at Cafe Plan B before. I say no, and she introduces me to Presto.

Presto is a tablet—a tablet designed specifically for restaurants by the Silicon Valley-based company E la Carte. You can browse the menu, order and pay right at your table, anytime. You can also play games for 99 cents—in case you need another device to distract you from your date.

The French woman says it's all so much easier this way. The owner later says it was tablets or a cashier—this is a casual cafe, not a restaurant with formal service.

Fair enough. Plan B (1226 20th Street) features a menu that lists classic French cafe fare—soups, salads, sandwiches, mussels. And on Presto, I can look at pictures of the deep-red venison carpaccio, and the delicate tartlet with leeks and anchovies.

The pictures create temptation—temptation that will sit on my table for the rest of the meal.

People eat with their eyes first. Impulse orders ensue. Upselling opportunities are consistent. Faster turnarounds are inevitable. I see your business strategy, Presto.

I order a croque-madame and the French woman brings it over. Thick slices of ham and melty Gruyere sit between thick slices of toasted brioche, with oozing béchamel sauce and fried egg. There is texture, warmth and butter in each bite.

The French woman returns to pick up my plate and I take out my wallet to pay, via Presto. I swipe my card against the tablet, and because this is a business lunch, I request a receipt.

And I wait.

Apparently no one cares for receipts anymore. After 10 minutes of twiddling my thumbs, I attempt to flag down the French woman or the owner, and I fail. Multiple times.

I am left to think about everything wrong with the national tablet-dining trend in totally plausible hypotheticals: What if I was indecisive and wanted a human's recommendation? What if something was wrong with my dish? What if there was a travesty, like if the fried egg was overcooked? What if I dropped my fork?

Would the food runner have noticed any of these things? And why is the automatic tip on Presto 18 percent, when the only human service is said food runner?

Finally, the owner meets my anxious gaze. I ask for the receipt, and he looks embarrassed. Tech can't quite do it all.