The Wacktorialist

On Monday, March 30, Lil Wayne came to Sacramento. As seekers of sophistique and wranglers of trend, Derek “the Intern” Nielsen and I decided to jump in his bucket and head out to Arco Arena, where bold, risqué and streamlined urban fashions would abound.

1. Madison and Whitney acted as our welcome wagon. Fashionwise, they stuck out immediately, because Madison kind of looks like a bizarro version of one of our copy editors. And Whitney, she was dressed like a hyphy leopard.

2. Seeing as this “Baby Weezy” is four times the actual size of Lil Wayne, I think this person was using the bold art of airbrush to illustrate a subtle gesture of irony. Well played.

3. These strapping young men were standing in front of us the whole time. I’m not sure exactly what they were doing, but whatever it was looked like it was about to get illicit. These guys were so incredibly masculine that halfway through Weezy’s set, they took off their shirts and I think they might have turned gay.

4. When I asked this guy to show his grill, he got really excited and said, “Yeah mayn fo’ sho’ mayn yeah Lil Wayne mayn T-Pain mayn suspect mayn,” and then he walked away.