The ultimate battlefield is in the bedroom

Dear Mexican:

I am from an Arabic-speaking country. After my education is completed here, I’ll be returning to my country or Kuala Lumpur, the Garden City of Lights. Since I’ve been in this country, I’ve noticed there’s a rising tide of hatred toward Mexicans. I’ve talked to Mexicans, and they all say is they’re proud to be Mexican. I am curious, sir: Why is it that Mexicans don’t stand up to that corrupt and racist government in Mexico? In my opinion, it’s going to get worse for Mexicans in the United States. I’ve read there’s a new constitution that has been secretly written; they’re just waiting for the right time to implement it. It’s going to be geared toward a police state. English will be the official language. I’ve asked some people in government about this. Some said that there’s a push to revoke the amendment about children of illegals born on American soil. I strongly suspect your people are in mortal danger. I also found in my research that the United States is preparing for civil unrest. U.S. Special Forces, NATO troops and more than a million mercenaries are already deployed in this country. Just remember: America is notorious for using germ warfare on people of color. They used it on African-Americans in the early part of the 20th century, not to mention HIV in Africa. The pentagon has vials of viruses in laboratories that can wipe out tens of millions of people!

Don’t think they won’t use it on your people. In my opinion, the worst is yet to come in this country. You see what they’re trying to do to us Muslims. But Muslims are fighters—we believe God helps those who help themselves. Good luck to you. Your people will need it.

—Roti Ranter

Dear Mohammedan:

On one mano, you come off as someone who probably believes that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was an Illuminati plot at the behest of the Reptilians to crash the Bohemian Grove. On the other hand, didja hear how there were smallpox samples in the back of a freezer of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that someone had absentmindedly left there for decades? Freaky stuff, this country.

But this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not Coast to Coast AM, so let’s concentrate on the Mexican parts of your pregunta. You ask why Mexicans don’t stand up to the Mexican government. It’s the same question Know Nothings continually pose to Mexicans (and now to those Central American undocu-kids that have bigots’ chonis in a bunch—vete a la chingada, mugroso Murrieta) yet never ask of their ancestors. Simple answer: The whole reason why Mexico is even in the First World is because migrants stood up to the PRI via remittances and votes, just like previous groups of other immigrants. Then you imply Muslims are fighters, while Mexicans aren’t. While my respect to the ummah, Mexicans in los Estados Unidos are the greatest warriors on Earth: We have the sangre of the Moors who ruled over the Spaniards for más than 700 years, the blood of the Spaniards who ultimately won, the wisdom of our indigenous ancestors, valor of our American home and the knowledge that the ultimate battlefield is in the bedroom—and there, we’re like pinche Saladin.