The new rules

If your local daily newspaper didn’t pick it up, head over to California Watch (www.californiawatch.org) and check out the piece by Mark Schapiro and Sarah Terry-Cobo on timber companies and California’s global-warming law. Last week, the California Air Resources Board adopted broad new cap-and-trade rules in hopes of getting big industrial polluters to cut back on their greenhouse-gas emissions. But as Schapiro and Terry-Cobo report, the big winners may be timber corporations such as Sierra Pacific Industries, who stand to make millions selling carbon credits earned for planting trees—after they’ve already clear-cut the land. The story also details the Sierra Pacific’s extensive lobbying (and campaign cash spent) on the new rules. The proper role of tree farming in the effort climate change is just one facet of the 3,000-page rule that will likely be debated long after its adoption last week. (Cosmo Garvin)

Brown-nosing and goodbyes

“Celebrated comedian and chairman of the Latino Water Coalition Paul Rodriguez,” as he was introduced, gestured animatedly while welcoming svelte mingling politicos to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wrap party last Thursday at the Sacramento Convention Center. The attendees moved among caterers and crowded tables, complete with gourmet buffet, hosted bar and a program of evening entertainment. One would think it a satisfying reward for a job well done, but the only thing on most people’s mind was making inroads with the incoming Brown administration.

Entertainment was a difficult thing to define, as the guests sat mostly ignoring the event’s house band for the night, Hip Service. Things looked up, though, as Big Five politicos took the stage dressed in “I’m Not a Girlie Man” T-shirts for their own take on “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

Next, 90-year-old former Secretary of State George Shultz introduced a message from a mystery guest: ex-President George W. Bush, who welcomed Schwarzy back into the private sector and the manifold glories beholden to “The Ex-Governor’s Club.”

Dinner was eaten, coffee was served, sweet almond champagne was drained and dessert tables were laid to waste, ushering in the real highlight of the evening: first lady Maria Shriver, who invited her guests to return to their seats and welcome Jay Leno, who many thought had retired from comedy.

“I just flew in,” he began. “It was my first time going through the new TSA pat-down. The woman in front of me walked through security and then turned to her husband and whined, ‘Why don’t you ever touch me like that anymore?!’” Zing! Leno: 1. TSA: 0.

After a retrospective Schwarzenegger-on-The Tonight Show video montage, Leno introduced what the event program had only listed as “Surprise Special Guests”: Danny DeVito, Sylvester Stallone and Tom Arnold.

Finally, Schwarzenegger took the stage to reflect on his seven years in office, stressing the invaluable work done by his extensive administration. As he praised everyone in attendance for their humor and support, a final guest, Vanessa Williams, performed “Silent Night” in German. Auf wiedersehen, indeed. (Julianna Boggs)