The New Guy

A persecuted high-school geek (DJ Qualls) switches schools to remake himself into Mr. Super-Cool-and-Oh-So-Tough, with the help of a jailhouse pal (Eddie Griffin). Contrived and stupid moron-bait, the film is a jaw-dropping festival of ineptitude. Nothing is funny or even makes sense from scene to scene—Qualls is in jail one moment, in school the next, then back in jail the moment after that. Among the hundreds of misfired, lame-brained jokes are scenes that parody Braveheart and Patton—Braveheart??? PATTON????? Who the hell wrote this? (David Kendall, actually, and the alleged director is Ed Decter.) Several D-List celebrities make “cameo” appearances: Vanilla Ice, David Hasselhof, Tommy Lee, Gene Simmons, Jerry O’Connell,Zand one person who looks suspiciously like Jeff Daniels.