The conspiracy issue: QAnon has the truth about the coming Storm!

I’m old enough to remember when conspiracy theories were harmless fun stories about aliens, Bigfoot (the furry woodland mammal, not the truck) and the Men in Black. No longer a diversion akin to campfire ghost stories, conspiracy theories are now a driving force behind some of the most divisive politics in modern memory. At the center of “the Storm” is a powerful, shadowy figure called QAnon.

First appearing on the bastion of free speech and deep-hitting journalism 4chan, the “Q Clearance Patriot” (as the shadowy figure first called themself) claims to be a Department of Defense insider with top secret-level clearance as well as solid information on the corrupt Democrats, the “deep state” and the coming counter-coup (referred to as “the Storm” in anon-speak) being waged by the Trump administration and those brave patriots aligned with him.

According to QAnon, all the baddies (Obama, the Clintons, Podesta, Comey, etc.) are actually the true target of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation, and the crimes they’ve committed—which range from embezzlement to operating pedophile rings to even Satanic drug and sex parties—will soon be revealed.

Unfortunately for QAnon and for the thousands of true believers on Twitter, the long-awaited Justice Department inspector general’s report wasn’t the smoking gun they were hoping for. But don’t worry, QAnon has access to the real, un-redacted report. And as soon as Trump is ready, it will be released, proving unequivocally that Democrats are lizard people who eat babies and hate freedom. Any day now …

Conspiracy rating: That Pizzagate guy was onto something!