Sweet 16

It’s a quest to become cool, to find an identity, to break away from mom and dad, apply to college, sneak a kiss, rebel, find a cause, touch a boob, sneak out of the house, find your sexuality and dance like a mental patient. It’s what separates the girls from the young women and the little boys from the gangly and awkward, um, little boys.

Ahhhh, sweet 16! Can you smell it?

The 16th annual Sacramento Area Music Awards are upon us and the evening is guaranteed to whisk you away, back to the days of prom—odd fashion statements and smokin’ in the boys room.

With 21 groups performing and countless award winners and nominees, the night will be electrified with all the energy and spastic hormones of your first high school dance.

Class clown Keith Lowell Jensen will be there, turning his childhood insecurities into nervous jokes; Baby Grand will be making out in the corner; Two Playa Game will be at home; the Whiskey Rebels are likely to spike the punch and Righteous Movement will be in the office, telling on everyone.

From ass-shaking acts like Mr. P Chill & Trunk of Funk to Agent Ribbons, who are totally crush-worthy, there’s bound to be enjoyment for pubescent music lovers everywhere.

And if you don’t get it, it’s cool. It’ll only be all over school that you’re, like, the most totally uncool dork to ever roam the campus.