Stop making sense

My name a Dzhakcoh. I powerless over fermented horse urine.

In my ancestral homeland of Wakajawakastan we have saying: “When cockroach in restroom at restaurant sing Lenny Kravitz medley from next to toilet, is time to drink of cowmilks and eat healthy breakfast until hallucination stop.”

These saying on my mind at Java Cafe and Brew Pub in Fair Oaks on Friday night, when I looking for sex. I like a sex. I even like a sex on Sunday, when Jerry Falwell say it not good to even yank the Kamchatka. So I sitting in Java Cafe with companion who encounter singing cockroach in bathroom, who then say, “Must go now, in fact demand to go now, cockroach in water closet is very bad thing.”

“But first band just going on now,” I say, “and Ken Burnett is good singing. I like. You no like?”

Not, apparently. So Dzhakcoh not get to have a Sex on Sunday—most popular and best indie band in all of Sacramento according to Sex on Sunday poster that have SN&R logo on it two times with statement claiming is best band in known universe—because of Lenny Kravitz cockroach. This a boo hoo. Next time a Dzhakcoh not take person along who not want to have a Sex on Sunday, so he can make reportings for fine peoples in Wakajawakastan on these important cultural event.

Next night Dzhakcoh to going solo Old Ironsides, which have no singing cockroach. Is like saying in my ancestral homeland: “Music by peoples who die tragic deaths attract audience with goofy hair from pillow markings.” These audience with funny bedheads love the Elliott Smith song by other artist singings.

Another funny thing: Several local artist on show declare undying love for Elliott Smith during three-song set, then confess to learning songs in haste on night before. Does not making the sense, this: If you big fan of artist, you would know all song of artist in sleep, no? You would not cribbing for exam with CliffsNotes to play show in honor of artist on third anniversary of death, no? These point most important because Smith write many song with ornamental Beatle chordings that have vocal line starting in place one not expecting, or weird rhythm in song line.

Sherman Baker singer person know Smith music very much nice, though, and he seem to understanding subtext of late-night bottle, cigarette and guitar to digest girlfriend letter “Dear Elliott, I am making the sex with person not you” earlier from that day. Surprise also that Daycare band understand these “Dear Elliott” letter with very sweet cover of “Waltz #2 (XO).” Even if Daycare guitar player Sonny Mayugba flip Dzhakcoh the Premier Bush finger salute outside of club.

Dzhakcoh outside of club looking for a sex, but not find. Him do overhear funny conversation about a sex, two boy who drink much fermented horse urine very sad that girl they want to make a sex with only want to make a sex with professional snowboard person. Is very funny, this. Dzhakcoh tell them to rent snowboards and be saying much “Duude” and roasting of vegetable matters, and them soon getting lucky.

Next time Dzhakcoh having a Sex on Sunday perhaps. Jak sie masz!