Soundtrack/ various artists

TVT Soundtrax

If you like drum machine-reliant pop cheese, this album’s for you. The disc leans on re-styled versions of older dance hits, but the covers have nothing on the originals. In fact, The A Teens’ attempt at ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” proves that the astrological lineup over 1970s Sweden inspired a brand of saccharine love song that shall be unachievable for another zodiac cycle. Still, some of this cheese is more congenial than the rest. Southern Culture on the Skids offers a song with the chorus, “She’s liquored up and lacquered down / She’s got the biggest hair in the whole damn town!”—which is sure to inspire a line dance. William Shatner’s “Miss United States” is filled with Kirk-esque drama and breathy pauses. “Hold your crown up … high!” It may stink, but that’s brie, baby!