SN&R’s Republican Presidential Debate Drinking Game!
We usually highlight local events in this spot. But screw that: This week, you're getting hammered.That's right, you're going to tie one on watching the upcoming GOP presidential debate, the first of the season, a surefire magic moment in the making. Ten of the 16 candidates. In Cleveland. Complaining about health care. And Donald Trump calling Marco Rubio a homicidal rapist. You're going to need to drink.
Everyone's favorite metal, hard rock and thrash bar On The Y (670 Fulton Avenue) and local funny guy Robert Berry will be hosting the RetroCrush GOP Debate Hecklefest this Thursday, August 6, beginning at 6 p.m. Berry, James Israel and Jesse Jones will crack wise at the 15 unwise men (and one woman) vying for the prez nom. This is a free hangout—and with live comedy for free after.
And, if you don't choose to enjoy the debate at On the Y, SN&R has the 2016 presidential race's first drinking game as a home version.
What you’ll need: a TV or stream of the debate, friends and family, cans of Costco Kirkland beer (yes, it exists) and a bottle of liquor of choice (we'll be partaking in Old Grand-Dad whiskey, because Ronald Reagan). Perhaps some snacks, too (Costco pizza and Takis, natch).
The rules: We don't yet know who the final 10 master debaters will be. Nevertheless, our game must go on. And so: “Everyone drinks …”
a quick swig of beer if Gov. Scott Walker promises to blow the shit out of Iran
a sip of brew if Mike Huckabee threatens to kill a Disneyland character
two swigs of brew if Marco Rubio attacks Donald Trump for his lack of class
three swigs of beer if Donald Trump responds to Rubio simply with “Polo”
a guzzle if Jeb Bush attacks Scott Walker for no reason
another guzzle if Scott Walker uses the phrase “too much Bush”
half a beer if Ben Carson compares prison to a Sheraton
a full beer if Ted Cruz says the No. 1 threat to America is Planned Parenthood
three swigs if Rick Perry calls Donald Trump the “diabetes of democracy”
a cheeky shot if Rand Paul uses the word “daddy”
two beers if Chris Christie is late because of traffic on Cleveland's Hope Memorial Bridge
a beer if Huckabee bites Christie
two shots if Trump shows up in a suit emblazoned with the Confederate flag
three swigs of beer if Bush refers to his younger brother as “Little G Man”
three shots if Cruz says he will be replacing Eazy-E on tour with NWA instead of Eminem
four shots if Rubio admits he's leaving his wife for a Kardashian
a sixer of Kirkland brew if Lindsey Graham is actually invited
the whole bottle if, after watching the debate, you actually are considering voting Republican