Sherlock Gnomes
The Someone is stealing the garden gnomes of London—but never fear, Sherlock Gnomes (voiced by Johnny Depp), Dr. Watson (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and lovers Gnomeo and Juliet (James McAvoy, Emily Blunt) are on the case. The sequel to 2011’s borderline-wretched Gnomeo & Juliet takes the wretchedness way beyond the border, lining up a stellar cast of voices (others include Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, Ozzy Osbourne, Julie Walters, Mary J. Blige) and giving them not one interesting syllable to say. Even with five credited writers (Ben Zazove, Andy Riley, Kevin Cecil, Emily Cook, Kathy Greenberg), the movie has nothing—no story, no wit, no excitement, no ideas, no suspense, nothing but a lame pun for a title (come to think of it, just like Gnomeo & Juliet before it). How did such drivel ever get a green light?