Seven Days in Utopia

After a public meltdown on his pro debut, a young golfer (Lucas Black) gets stranded by car trouble in a small town in Texas; fortunately, there’s a wise old golfer on hand (Robert Duvall) to teach him some valuable lessons. Of all the movies that try to portray golf as a grand spiritual experience, this may be the worst (yes, even worse than The Legend of Bagger Vance). Please, golfers: It’s really only a game after all (and as a spectator sport, extremely boring); have fun with your little white ball and stop preaching to the rest of us. As for the movie, clichés and platitudes come fast and thick (Duvall does everything but call Black “Grasshopper”), culminating in a lady-or-the-tiger ending that refers us to a website “to continue the journey” and learn how the big game came out. Do we care?