Seeking: hairy backside

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a friend’s bachelor party at a well-known Sacramento-area striptease establishment. There were plenty of women employed at this establishment, and they also were completely nude. As I sat in awe of the women, I realized that there is no similar service offered by men.

In the greater Sacramento area, there is an assortment of topless and fully nude clubs featuring women. There are few, if any, featuring men. There is no place to go if you are looking for fully nude men.

What is Sacramento saying to its heterosexual female population by not having an establishment where we can go to see hairy backsides and swinging johnsons? Maybe it’s just my perverted mind that is interested, but I have a feeling that, in a survey of 100 straight women, at least 80 would say they definitely would look if given the opportunity. Probably 60 would say they would pay to see it, and 40 would be regulars at such a place.

As a lifelong resident of Sacramento, I know that the lack of this service is not due to a lack of fine specimens. I see three or four qualified men a day. It cannot be because the guys would be shy about it. I’m sure any man who had enough to brag about would be happy to show it around. And being paid, on top of bragging rights, is enough to make almost any man get undressed.

My fear is that the reason there are no fully nude male establishments is that old double standard. Women shouldn’t want to drool over naked men, and husbands and boyfriends alike cringe at the thought of their mates—or their mothers—being given the opportunity to do so.

I say we within the straight female population should be honest and tell our significant others that we would love to see strange men naked, and if our partners do not like it, they can go throw out their 10-year-old collections of Playboy in the garbage. It’s time we say, “We work hard for our money and have earned the right to spend it on the indulgences we choose.” I say we make it common knowledge to business owners and entrepreneurs that “if you build it, we will come.”