See Arnold grope

The boy in the bobble: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s attempts to control his image are an increasing problem for a former actor still coming to grips with the realities of life as a public figure. In spite of a lawsuit, the family-run Bosley Bobbers company keeps selling bobbleheads of a gun-wielding governator (see “Your very own Governor Schwarzenbobble,” SN&R Opinion, May 13) and since has introduced a “Stop Arnold” T-shirt to benefit its Bosley Bobbers Legal Defense Fund.

But the company’s lawyers are saying the lawsuit has nothing to do with the follow-up bobble project by John Edgell, a Washington lobbyist who came up with the original concept that brought them fame and fury the first time around. Edgell has posted ads on Craigslist in Los Angeles and Washington, seeking an “experienced sculptor” to bring him the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger or a reasonable facsimile thereof. According to Edgell’s ad, the “current Arnold Schwarzenegger ‘head’ will be applied to a new ‘Groping Arnold’ body, so drawings submitted should reflect Schwarzenegger as a groping Governor.”

Edgell, whose former bosses include Dennis Kucinich and Maria Shriver’s own first cousin Joe Kennedy, apparently couldn’t resist using the ad to spout off editorially with a snarky background section that traces the history of the controversy. “In May 2004, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s personal lawyer filed a bogus lawsuit in California state court to stop sales of a satirical Schwarzenegger bobblehead, citing the state’s ‘right to publicity’ statute,” he writes. “But what this legal genius didn’t realize was his longtime client had been elected California’s new Governor in October, 2003, thus clearly becoming a public figure subject to satirical political speech.”

Calling Schwarzenegger “a public figure who has problems with admitting mistakes, either on a movie set, at the State Capitol, or in a courtroom,” Edgell sees it as his mission to help “assure every serious-minded American’s right to poke fun at their elected officials.”

Run Arnold run: And if all that weren’t bad enough news for poor private citizen Arnold, a source from the Arts & Entertainment (A&E) network tells Bites that the script is complete and that casting has begun for See Arnold Run, the forthcoming television docudrama about Schwarzenegger’s rise to fame in the oh-so-complementary worlds of bodybuilding, acting and politics. Los Angeles casting director Mary Jo Slater—who jump-started her 8-year-old son Christian Slater’s career by casting him in One Life to Live—most likely will not be asking her spawn to fill Arnold’s elevator shoes. Sadly, she wasn’t available to field Bites’ other helpful casting suggestions (Vin Diesel, Nick Nolte, Phil Angelides …). Meanwhile, the network has chosen not to seek input from Arnold. “We don’t run our scripts by anyone,” said an A&E insider. “It’s not like we call and ask permission, any more than you would run your news story by him.”

Brow beating: Speaking of actors with weird eyebrows, Bites is hereby sending a warning to any and all Sacramentans who have grown too attached their bushy unibrows or are otherwise overly endowed in the eyebrow department (John Burton, this means you): Be sure to keep your distance from aesthetician Arianne Damboise—the so-called “Arch Empress of Brows”—when she hits town this week. “When I look at a pair of brows pleading to be fixed, and the face behind them is saying, ‘No’ … girlfriend, I always take the brows’ side,” said Damboise, who will be on hand for the opening of the new Benefit Brow Bar at the Arden Fair Macy’s this Thursday. The San Francisco-based Damboise boasts some 19 years in the “brow biz” and is the creator of such essential products as Brow Zings and Ooh La Lift. Though Bites has no intention of being chased around a mall by overzealous eye sculptors, the Brow Bar is open for readers who are dying to get in touch with their “inner diva.”