Samson

The story of the biblical strong man from the Book of Judges is drably retold without a trace of style or showmanship, making Cecil B. DeMille’s 1949 Samson and Delilah (which was pretty good already) look like a masterpiece of great art by comparison. Somehow it took four writers (Jason Baumgardner, Galen Gilbert, Timothy Ratajczak and Zach Smith) and two directors (Bruce Macdonald and Gabriel Sabloff) to grind out something even this mediocre; maybe they should all look into another trade. As Samson, Taylor James alternately simpers like a Chippendale’s model and grimaces like a professional wrestler, failing to make much impression in either mode, while Caitlin Leahy’s Delilah is a cipher indistinguishable from the faceless women around her—just another of this puny little dud’s miscalculations.