Rowboat Veterans for Truth

Some people are saying that George Washington, America’s first president and the purported father of our country, wasn’t quite the military hero he is universally credited with being. And finally, a group of Revolutionary War veterans has banded together to get the real story out—that Washington didn’t have the right stuff to lead; that he often was too preoccupied with sparking his hemp-weed pipe, often setting his wooden teeth on fire in the process, to concentrate on the military objectives at hand; that vaunted heroic campaigns against fierce Hessians were in fact nothing more than minor dust-ups with alcohol-impaired Germans. Despite what the liberal media are telling you, these vets have vowed to get to the bottom of the matter and defend the God-anointed monarchy of our King George.