Reunions, porn-eyed BFs and thieves

I found my best friend from high school on Facebook and made plans to get together. I was really excited because we were inseparable back then, and I could always be myself around her. But here’s the thing: She brought her teenage daughter to our reunion. I tried to make the best of it, but how do you talk with a kid present who you didn’t want to be there? My friend wanted her daughter to meet me because of the stories she had shared about our high-school days. I thought it was rude. Lunch was awkward, and it was no secret that I was upset. How do I get past this and back into a relationship with my best friend?

Your BFF from high school is now a mamacita. Can you accept that?

If so, tuck your disappointment back into the I-want-all-of-your-attention section of your ego, apologize to your friend for wanting to relive the past rather than meet her in the moment, then extend another invitation to hang out. And, yes, since it’s an apology, include her daughter. It’s unlikely that a teenager would willingly put herself through such an ordeal twice, but you do owe her a do-over.

One more thing: In the future, be honest about your expectations. It’s clear that you imagined a reunion scenario in your head, but never shared it with your high-school pal.

I caught my 26-year-old boyfriend looking at nasty porn of teenage girls. He said he got on to the website by accident and promised never to do it again. Yesterday, I caught him looking at really disgusting adult porn. We’ve been together for three years, and he hardly touches me anymore. He’s also mean in ways he never was before. I love him, but I don’t know if I should believe him.

Is your polygraph working? I’m talking about the sensor system connected to your head and heart, the one that signals when someone is trying to deceive you—or, more importantly, when you are trying to deceive yourself.

To reboot, begin here: Honey, you do not have a boyfriend. You are attached to a man who is addicted to lying. That means he is not capable of loving you or himself. Love is born on a bed of honesty. Somewhere along the line, you learned to embrace abuse as a sign of affection, as if a crumb of attention is better than none at all. You do not love him (sorry, someone has to tell you the truth), but you have been with him for so long, you have entered a rhythm of familiarity. Plug into your self-worth, pack your bags and exit this relationship as quickly as you can. You deserve better. Schedule an appointment with a competent psychotherapist to accompany you through the muck of closure and the struggle of birthing a new you.

My co-workers pilfer stuff from the supply closet. One of them jokes that he needs to stock up because he could lose his job and might need to start a business from home. It makes me really uncomfortable when I catch people, but I don’t know if I should do anything about it.

If it was your company, would you like to know about the black hole? If so, make a gentle suggestion to the person in charge of ordering supplies to lock up the loot or implement a sign-out program. Or forward one of the recent surveys claiming that as many as 56 percent of Americans regularly steal pens, highlighters, paper and other office products from work. Although some surveyed claim to be borrowing the items, others admit they didn’t think their boss would miss anything. Yeah, as if not being caught is reason enough to steal.