RED

Apparently a movie about patronizing the elderly, this one’s title refers to its “Retired, Extremely Dangerous” protagonists, a once-elite team of aged and variously cuddly killers played by Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren and Brian Cox. Friends include foxy pension administrator Mary-Louise Parker and chipper CIA records clerk Ernest Borgnine. Foes include wannabe black-ops badass Karl Urban, limply Dick Cheney-an Richard Dreyfuss and a web of government skullduggery. The casting is full of temptations, but the film only manages a boring squall of semiautomatic weapons and performances. RED mostly goes to show that the fanboy-hallowed subgenre of comic-cum-movie shoot-’em-up isn’t getting any younger.