Pop quiz

To get attendees into the spirit of last Saturday’s screening of Re-Animator, the Trash Film Orgy (TFO) crew handed out quizzes from Miskatonic University—the film’s fictional, corpse-ridden campus. Sample question:

Using chemical means to reanimate dead tissue is:

(a) an amazing advancement of science

(b) a good way to impress your biology professor

(c) unethical and questionable behavior

(d) a sure-fire way to get some zombie nookie

Such questions were intended to help theatergoers focus on the themes of the film—a challenge amid throngs of naughty nurses dispensing cure-all pills that tasted suspiciously like spearmint Tic Tacs. If you were too distracted by the Queen of Trash’s Red Cross pasties to focus, here’s a follow-up quiz to aid your comprehension of the evening’s lessons. Answer true or false to the following statements and then read on to check your accuracy.

(1) Shining laser pointers during a movie is as funny now as it was in 1995. Answer: True. It was barely amusing then, and it remains a tired pastime. Let it die.

(2) Smoking inside the Crest Theatre is OK. Answer: False. The Crest’s rumored 4:20 days officially became urban legend when a uniformed security guard patrolled the aisles all night, and no one so much as flicked a Bic.

(3) Wearing everyday clothes with greasepaint under your eyes makes you a zombie. Answer: False. Sadly, this year’s zombie parade was half-assed (and not in the sense that the other half had rotted off). Rather than legions of corpses lurching down K Street with a rousing chant of “What do we want? Brains!” this “parade” was a feeble cluster of barely costumed participants. RetroCrush.com webmaster Robert Berry summed it up best: “These aren’t zombies; these are dirty gothic kids!”

(4) TFO is the best place to catch The Curse of the Golden Skull. Answer: False. The first installment of TFO’s original movie shone with impressive sets, well-choreographed gore and an array of local celebrities, from Jerry Perry to Robert Berry. Unfortunately, a sonic wall of heckling obliterated the dialogue. To see (and hear) what looks to be a promising flick, visit the Sacramento Film and Music Festival this August.

(5) James Mohr is dead. Answer: Maybe. While hundreds witnessed a bat sucking blood off Mohr’s bludgeoned cranium in Golden Skull, Life is Bonkers’ lead singer was alive at intermission, distributing fliers for an all-ages CD-release show scheduled for 1 p.m. on Sunday, July 3, at On the Y, 670 Fulton Avenue. Life is Bonkers has surprised local music fans by, well, reanimating. More shocking, its new EP may be this summer’s poolside pop hit. The four-song Death is Bonkers, Too!! features catchy synthesizer riffs, sharp drumming and even a love song. “It’s easily our best CD,” Mohr said. “It’s nice having one you can play for people without having them kinda cringe.” Visit www.myspace.com/lifeisbonkers before your next backyard barbecue and keep crackin’ them books.