Pick me up:

No. 1: Blue Cue
On Friday night, I decided to tackle the one-way streets that make up the downtown grid and head to Blue Cue with some friends. While ordering my usual lemon drop—a sugary-sweet martini that makes me feel like I’m 5 again—I noticed a very off-beat, attractive guy to my right. He must have known I was checking him out because he turned to me and said, “Do you know I live next door to the queen?” As the sound of angels began singing from heaven—oh wait, no, it was just his English accent—I noticed that he possessed the charm of Hugh Grant. Normally a line like that would have constituted an eye roll, but seeing as I’ve always had a Notting Hill fantasy, I was interested. Turns out my new friend Ally, short for Alistair, was enjoying his last night here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Accent? Check. Cute? Check. Leaving soon? Check. Looks like I might have hit the international jackpot. By the end of the night, I was completely “arseholed” (British slang for drunk) and holding hands with someone I may have forced to say things like “Allo, govnah” and any Harry Potter line I could think of.

No. 2: R15 via The Townhouse
I usually find it charming when a slightly nervous guy approaches me in a bar. Friday night, after a failed attempt to have drinks at Townhouse (due to the fact that police were arresting the head of security when we got there), my girlfriends and I went farther downtown to R15. We did a few “laps,” as the girls and I like to call it, and found a nice spot to sit and guy-watch. After a few minutes of standing in our new “meat-scoping” location, the nervous guy walked up. You know the type: nice hair, well-dressed, not too short. If only some men would just never speak. He told me his name was “Evan. Evan rhymes with heaven.” I explained that I liked Dr. Suess back in the fifth grade, but that I never wanted him touching my butt.

No. 3: Firedance Lounge
Being a college student requires certain responsibilities like studying, a love affair with espresso and making frequent appearances at the local college bar. For the latter fix, I head to Firedance on La Riviera Drive. Take away the books, replace the coffee with a $2 well drink and you pretty much have the student union. It’s a great place to catch up with friends and shake it to whichever Timbaland song is hot right now. It’s also a great place to meet new college-aged people. The worst, most overused pick-up line would have to be “Didn’t we have class together?” On a recent night, the guy delivering it didn’t even go to college. How are you supposed to bounce back from that, dude? Just because you’re at a college bar doesn’t mean this college girl is going to sleep with you … whether we had History of Modern Tools 101 together or not.

No. 4: Cabana Ultra Lounge & Night Club
Cabana is a fantastic night-life spot. Dress code is strictly enforced, so from a female perspective, it’s a great way to meet a sharply dressed man. While scoping out my potential “boyfriend” for the night, I sip on my vodka-cran. Oh no … . Here it is, ladies and gentleman, a white knight. Mr. Wonderful points both fingers at me while mouthing the words to Akon’s “I Wanna Love You.” Quite a compliment, one would think. I’m not convinced. It’s going to take a lot more than poorly written lyrics to make me walk across the room. Take note: If you want a lady to dance with you, just go ask her … and use an original line, not a hip-hop artist’s.