Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Recently I made a crack about whether it’s too soon to declare Paul Blart: Mall Cop the worst movie of the year (yes, even counting Bride Wars). Then God punished me for my arrogance—first with a screening of Fanboys (review forthwith, pending Sacramento release), then by allowing Officer Blart to emerge as last weekend’s box-office champ. So it goes. From producer Adam Sandler, director Steve Carr (Daddy Day Care) and Sandler-buddy star Kevin James, who co-scripted with Nick Bakay, the intention here is family-friendly action-comedy. Playing at once too broadly and too narrowly in the silly-movie tradition of plump, overzealous, underauthoritative badge wearers (see also John Candy, Nick Frost), James portrays a lonely security guard who finds his turf besieged by a gang of crooks with menacing tattoos, unnecessary parlor moves and embarrassing acting (Keir O’Donnell). Die Hard for doofuses ensues, with Carr treating all his performers equally unflatteringly.