Partners, guns and money

Now, thanks to the California Rifle and Pistol Association (CRPA), you’ll be able to find the answers to that and many other questions without wading through cumbersome legal ordinances or conducting your own trial-and-error experiments.

CRPA’s handy new booklet, California Gun Law and Basic Safety Rules (With Answers to Frequently Asked Questions) is a must-read for all assault-weapon owners and the people who love them.

In fact, you don’t even have to be among the ammo-enamored to enjoy the benefits of CRPA’s answer to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

From the profundity of firearm safety fundamentals (“1. Know Yourself”) to simple affirmations that can help you through many of life’s trials and tribulations (“Never allow the muzzle of your firearm to point toward anything you do not intend to destroy”), the CRPA’s compendium of rules to live by is available from the association’s Web site (www.crpa.org). And while you’re there, don’t forget to check out its must-read magazine, The Firing Line. Happy hunting!

Everyone’s a winner, baby: Nothing beats snooping, as far as Bites is concerned. And for political snooping, nothing beats FundRace.org, a new Web site that lets you check out where your neighbors, co-workers and enemies are sending their political donations.

Starting with the Federal Election Commission’s fun-filled www.FEC.gov, there are plenty of places to see who’s giving what to whom. It’s all public information. But, unlike other campaign cash sites, FundRace offers geographic searches by ZIP code.

So, Bites started with home: 95814.

The query revealed a couple of embarrassing secrets right off the bat. First, there were big-shot lobbyists Aaron Read and Darius Anderson, who somehow got duped into contributing $2,000—the max anyone can give—to help Dick Gephardt fumble the Iowa caucuses. Anderson, however, also gave $1,000 to another loser, Wes Clark. Must be a habit he picked up from another loser, his old pal Gray Davis. At least Senate President Pro Tem John Burton—apparently using his work address—sent two grand to a winner, John Kerry.

Not many Republicans pop up in the Downtown/Midtown area, though lobbyist and Saddam Hussein look-alike Jerry Haleva maxed out with $2,000 to George Bush, as did political attorney Chuck Bell, counsel for the California Republican Party. County supe and automobile baron Roger Niello, who’ll soon take Dave Cox’s Assembly seat, sent $1,000 to Bush, only to be outdone by Cox, who dug extra-deep for $1,001.

Credit for the deepest digging, however, goes to Sacramento Assemblyman-turned-lobbyist Phil Isenberg, who, along with his wife, Marilyn, spread $7,000 between Kerry, Gephardt and Joe Lieberman.

At the opposite end of the largesse spectrum is local peacenik Jeanie Keltner, an activist who pumped a whopping $50 into the war chest of presidential pipsqueak Dennis Kucinich.

Be an icon: Viva domesticity! Secretary of State Kevin Shelley wants to put a “human face”—actually a half-dozen or so—on the state’s domestic-partnership program.

According to a mailing from Marriage Equality California, the secretary of state’s elections division graphic-design artist is looking for “an Asian-American male couple (no children necessary) and an African-American female couple with children for the photo/cover of an informational packet on domestic partnership.”

No pay, but hey, being multicultural, politically correct role models is surely an ample reward in itself.