Orbit

Wrigley’s

Oh citrusmint, the newest flavor of Orbit gum, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways: First, you smell like orange Gatorade and taste like those yummy vitamin-C drops with a hint of menthol that are the only good thing about having a cold. Second, you’re sweet like candy, but you erase garlic-induced halitosis as mightily as your spearmint and peppermint cousins (unlike your Orbit siblings, bubblemint and cinnamint, who can’t stand up to the onions on a hamburger). Third, your packaging humbly admits that you are “not a low calorie food.” Do you fear your five calories per piece are too much for us to handle, or that you might deceive some poor hungry soul into buying you for a meal? Don’t worry, my mouthwatering orange lovely, you’re perfect just as you are.