On schedule

What’s this I hear about CBD being a Schedule 1 drug? CBD is nonpsychoactive and has helped tons of people with a variety of ailments. I don’t get it.

—Khan A. B’Dial

To clear this up: CBD has always been a Schedule 1 drug. Why? Because CBD is derived from the cannabis plant and, as we all know, marijuana is a very dangerous drug. It has no medical value and is incredibly addictive and can lead to abuse.

OK, maybe we don’t know that, but the DEA does. And whatever the DEA says must be true. I mean, the DEA doesn’t have a financial incentive to go after the cannabis industry, right? A recent DEA report on drug use in the United States contains this complaint: “The general public has been introduced to contradictory and often inaccurate information regarding the legality and benefits of marijuana use. This has made enforcement and prosecution for marijuana-related offenses more difficult, especially in states that have approved marijuana legalization.” Life must be so hard for them right now because people are no longer buying their bullshit. Sad!

The thing is, here are umpteen companies all over the country marketing “legal” CBD tinctures and oils in states that don’t have medical or recreational cannabis laws. The recent announcement by the DEA that CBD is a Schedule 1 drug is more of a reiteration of established fact and a small warning to the folks attempting to sell cannabis products in states that have yet to legalize cannabis.

Of course, it’s all ridiculous. President Barack Obama just recently said that cannabis is no more dangerous than alcohol. Too bad the DEA doesn’t listen. And we can’t expect the new president to do much about cannabis law reform, because I assume he will be too busy sucking up to Russia, starting fights with China and robbing the U.S. Treasury. Happy New Year!

I am running hella late on my Christmas shopping. Any suggestions for the stoners in my life?

—Les Minute

Give the gift of weed. California law allows adults over the age of 21 to give other adults up to an ounce of weed. Try to find some nice, exotic flavors like Black Garlic or Chocolate Hashberry. Also. a gift basket filled with various rolling papers, grinders and other pot smoking accoutrements is always welcome.

If you have a bunch of money, you could buy that special stoner a big, fancy art-glass smoking device handmade by artisan crafters. These pieces can be expensive, but you get to support art and creativity and get stoned at the same time. Look for a fancy-pants head shop and whip out your credit card. Nothing like a giant art-glass smoking device on the (weed and) coffee table to get the party off to a smooth beginning. Boom. Just that easy. Happy ChrismaKwanzannukah!