Nugs, chillin’ and grindage

I just started dating a guy and he doesn’t know that I smoke yet. I blaze hella trees. What’s the best way to let him know?

—Secret Lover

Just be honest. There’s no need to beat around the kush. Unless you are dating a cop or a prohibitionist, weed is really not a big deal these days. Some folks drink, some folks smoke weed. Some like to do both. Some do neither. I think new couples need to have a drug talk just like they need to have a sex and monogamy talk. Clear communication of boundaries and expectations are important for all facets of a romantic relationship.

Next time he comes over, tell him you just got some good shit, and ask him if he wants a hit. If he freaks out and says he would never date a pothead, he is clearly not the one for you and y’all can still be friends. If he says yes, get him high and boink his brains out. If he says, “No, thank you, but I don’t mind if you do,” you should get high and boink his brains out. That way, he’ll equate you being stoned with really good sex, and everyone will be happy forever.

Happy New Year, Ngaio! Hope you are well. I was wondering what your opinion was on grinding weed for bong and pipe use?

—Diana Bong

Happy New Year to you as well! May your year be filled with happiness and prosperity, and may you be successful in all your battles against fascism. Although I love to use my hands when I crumble up the dank, grinders are fun and way easier than using your hands. Plastic ones are good for your stoner utility belt, er, travel bag, but metal ones are way easier to use and clean. Some fancy grinders even have kief catchers so you can collect those tasty trichomes that otherwise would end up stuck to your fingers.

I just got a gadget called a “Grindarolla” (www.herbystwist.com/product/grindarolla). It’s a self-contained grinder and joint maker. It’s a snap to use and to clean, and I have been enjoying it.

One more thing: If your pipe doesn’t have a screen, maybe just stick in a decent-sized nug or use a coarser grind so you don’t inhale any flaming embers. Flaming embers in the back of the throat can ruin a good session. Plus, there’s no need to incinerate the whole bowl at once. Wave your lighter over a corner of the bowl while you gently inhale. That way you save a greener, tastier hit for the person going next. Happy grinding!

What’s the best way to clean my pipe?

—Solomon Grungy

Ninety percent isopropyl alcohol and some salt is cheap and efficient. Soak your gear overnight, pour some salt into your piece and shake it like a salt shaker. Rinse well, and Bob’s your uncle.