(Not) The White House

On the White House for Kids Web page, subtitled Eagle Eyes: Pre-pubescent Patriots in Action!, is a checklist, “Signs that your parents secretly hate America.” Tykes with subversive mommies and daddies are advised to call the FBI immediately. Elsewhere on whitehouse.org, first lady Laura Bush describes how to decoupage those worthless Enron stock certificates, and the Office of Homeland Security’s “Operation Patriotic Tattoo” instructs citizens on why they must report for subcutaneous bar coding, while its “Foreign Car Buyer Database” probes the link between terrorism and imported autos. Obviously this is a prank site, similar in its snarky conservative bashing to the Landover Baptist Church page (landoverbaptist.org) and bettybowers.com. And Landover Baptist’s hand can be seen in such topics as “Federal Government Enlists Southern Baptist Pastors to Assist With Racial Profiling.” Funny? Yep.