Nathalie…

French director Anne Fontaine’s inane erotic drama was released in Europe in early 2004 but has only recently arrived on American shores via DVD. Despite the Gallic A-list trio of Fanny Ardant, Gérard Depardieu and Emmanuelle Béart (in American terms, that’s Susan Sarandon, Robert De Niro and Uma Thurman—and when was the last time any of them made a watchable film?), Nathalie… never acquires a pulse. Depardieu plays cheating husband to Ardant’s frustrated upper-middle-class wife, who hires a comely prostitute to seduce her husband and report back with the details. An odd friendship based on seduction, manipulation, fantasy and desire ensues. Essentially, it’s a feature-length episode of that old soft-core cable chestnut Red Shoe Diaries, only slower, more boring and with less sex.