Mr. Issa, please, please hold Climategate hearings

It didn’t take long for the 49th Congressional District’s Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., former recall artist and occasional gubernatorial candidate, to get moving now that his party has a majority in Congress. He’s going to be the new chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and he’ll be getting subpoena power as well as the congressional hearing schedule.

And he wants to hold hearings on—wait for it—Climategate!

Can I just say, oh, Darrell, please, please, please hold hearings on Climategate and climate change (or what some people think might be better termed “global climate disruption”).

Because, dude, once you put all the scientists under oath and get them to explain—on C-SPAN, no less—how the government is kowtowing to business’ short-term needs instead of preparing the citizens to live on a drastically changed planet, why, we’re going to get us an energy bill.

Or we can hope.

At the very least, Darrell, please call the actuaries and insurance business executives who are really upset about how climate change is devastating their bottom line. Because if you can put it in terms that stockholders will understand, we might actually get some action.

And while you’re at it, Darrell, put some of these whack-job denialists under oath, so we can get ’em on camera and get a good look at how their prognostication stands up to, uh, you know, actual science. Because once people see the difference between wishful thinking and judicious, evidence-based reasoning, we’re going to see a change in perspective.

That’s right, Darrell. You’ll discover that people who have actual facts from the reality-based world aren’t at all concerned about testifying. In fact, they’re generally happy to do it—just ask the folks in Dover, Pa., where the scientists blew the creationists out of the water with—wait for it again—facts.

And while you’re at it, be sure to call Rep. John Shimkus, R-Ill., who says there can’t be any climate change because God said so. In Genesis. Really. Because Bronze Age goat herders living in tents 10,000 years ago had a better grasp of climatology than, uh, climatologists.

C’mon, Darrell. I can’t wait for it. But I’ll have to DVR the hearings; my colleagues get upset when I laugh too loud during working hours.