Move over, Tesla!

Hey, local bands! Have you been waiting for SN&R to discover your talent and write a pithy 660-word story on your particular brand of indie-label success or bedroom-studio genius? Well, we only have 52 issues a year, so there’s a good chance we might not get to you before you blow through your label advance and your drummer quits to have a baby. Thus, in the do-it-yourself spirit that fuels Sacramento’s music scene, we offer the write-it-yourself music feature. Just fill in the blanks, circle the appropriate responses, paste in your photo, Xerox the article and add it to your press kit!

It was just past midnight. Band Name Here’s gig in Chicago / Minneapolis / Iowa City was an utter failure / huge success. Next up: Chicago / Minneapolis / Iowa City. But Midwestern weather is more intense than that of sunny California.

One moment, the van was on the road. All the band members remember next is a tumbling and the crashing of metal as guitars and amps crashed through the inside of the vehicle. It was all very dramatic. Once the smoke cleared, the band realized that no one was hurt / the band’s first drummer was tragically killed / it had run down a small cow.

Relating the events of that fateful night months later, Guitarist was thoughtful. “That was the most frightening / exciting thing that ever happened to me. It changed the way I live my life.”

Such depth is uncommon among young / middle-aged / elderly rock musicians, but such is the depth of Band Name Here, a band just on the crux of becoming Sacramento’s next big thing.

Band Name Here was started by 3 / 4 / 5 high-school / college friends who met over a sincere need to rock. “When I first met Bassist, I knew we were going to do great things together,” said Guitarist. A steady diet of the Velvet Underground / the Beatles / Bob Dylan / Kraftwerk / the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack prepped them in the art of songwriting. But it wasn’t until the band discovered Obscure but Critically Acclaimed Band from Europe / America / Japan that its direction was clearly defined. “Discovering Obscure Band was a turning point for us,” Bassist said, sipping quietly at his microbrew of choice, because we’re pretentious / whiskey, because we like to rock hard / Pabst Blue Ribbon, because we’re Americans, damn it!.

Today, the sounds of Band Name Here’s influences have coalesced into a sound that is reminiscent of Radiohead / Neil Young / David Bowie / the Beatles: part glam / prog / disco / indie rock and part glam / prog / disco / indie rock. Led by Guitarist / Bassist / Vocalist, the band is recording a new record, its first / the follow-up to its obscure but critically acclaimed first album. Following that, the band plans its first / next tour.

“We’re really in it for the music,” Drummer said. “We do / don’t want a major label to back us. That is / is not really what we’re trying to do.” In the meantime, the band members are saddled with the requisite day jobs. Bassist pours coffee at hip indie coffee shop, Guitarist sells clothes at hip indie clothes outlet in Midtown, and Drummer is “between employment.”

“He lives with his girlfriend / boyfriend / mom,” Bassist joked. Drummer didn’t seem to think the joke was very funny.