Make your pee smell

The wacky Stockton Asparagus Festival is this weekend, Friday, April 27, through Sunday, April 29; 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.—hours of spear-tastic fun.

Now, I love asparagus—especially the sweet Delta variety that briefly graces our markets. But if you really love these prehistoric-looking veggies, then get your tickets now for the festivities.

In Asparagus Alley, you can find spargle in burritos, tri-tip sandwiches, pasta, and deep-fried batter. Last year, more than 36,000 pounds of asparagus were sold. Chef demos and competitions will end with a Chef of the Fest coronation, and Canstruction artists will create sculptures out of canned goods, later to be donated to Stockton’s Emergency Food Bank. (Visit www.canstruction.org to see some of the incredible uses of cans as sculpture.)

The Asparazone for kids will feature a circus, sea lions and Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog. At the “Spear-its of the Valley” structure, you’ll find cheladas (Budweiser and Clamato—yum?) and Stockton-based Hula Girl Beverages. For some reason, none of its flavors includes asparagus. I think it’s missing an opportunity; don’t miss yours!