Love Don’t Cost a Thing

A nerdy high-school outcast (Nick Cannon) picks up the car-repair tab for a popular cheerleader (Christina Milian); in return, he asks her to pose as his girlfriend for two weeks, hoping her popularity will rub off on him. And it does, but it also goes to his head and turns him into a first-class jerk. This hip-hop-flavored remake of 1987’s Can’t Buy Me Love is woefully botched on every level, from the nearly incoherent script by original author Michael Swerdlick and Troy Beyer (who also directs, limply) all the way down to the cheap and ugly lighting. The screen chemistry between Cannon and Milian is approximately zero (their climactic kiss is actually rather revolting); other performances (except for Steve Harvey, wasted as the father of Cannon’s character) are as amateurish as a junior-high-school drama club.