Jonah Hex

In the Old West of 1876, a renegade with a horribly scarred face (Josh Brolin) is offered a presidential pardon in return for foiling the plans of his bitterest enemy (John Malkovich), an unreconstructed Confederate terrorist plotting to destroy the country at the July 4 centennial celebration (using a superweapon invented by Eli Whitney, no less). What do you get when you make a movie out of a comic book that’s not worth reading? The answer should be obvious, but apparently it would take deeper thinkers than director Jimmy Hayward and writers William Farmer and Neveldine and Taylor to figure it out. Characters are cardboard-vicious, the story ridiculous, the presentation sloppy, the violence brutal (when you can tell what’s going on). Megan Fox parades her assets as a hard-boiled frontier prostitute.