Intergalactic kvetch

There is an enjoyable sequence early in director James Gunn’s otherwise busy and dispiriting Marvel comic-book adaptation of Guardians of the Galaxy that prepares the palate for original flavors otherwise absent. Chris Pratt of Parks and Recreation dials it down a level to play Peter Quill, the film’s mysteriously orphaned space bandit protagonist. Under the opening credits, Quill joyfully dances through a marshy alien landscape to the tune of Redbone’s AM radio staple “Come and Get Your Love,” at one point grabbing a CGI alien reptile to use as a prop microphone.

It’s an ecstatic scene, joyful and self-effacing where every other Marvel smirk-fest of late has been getting dreadfully solemn about its own gobbledygook. There is an exhilarating impression that the film may actually have the guts to surrender to Pratt’s Kool-Aid Man chaos, but the feeling is short-lived. Soon, we’re stuck following magical orbs and infinity stones with the awesome power to do things I never really cared about, and Pratt’s dizzy charm is pushed aside in favor of plot-heavy predictability and Marvel Universe-building.

Once again, the bad guys are mush-faced nonentities with vague agendas who talk like condescending schoolmarms. Once again, the main baddie Ronan (Lee Pace) is portrayed and described as a “religious extremist” and a “terrorist” (cough, radical Muslim, cough). Once again, characters blather on about peace treaties instead of anything interesting or cool. Once again, the plot hinges on our heroes saving an entire planet from destruction. Once again, any potential character investment is spent on blobby CGI, sentimental-message mongering and a nonsensical third-act light show that refuses to end.

Does any of this sound depressingly familiar? In last year’s equally hollow Thor: The Dark World, the climax took place in a red cloud; here, it takes place in a purple cloud. Progress! With an ensemble cast that includes a talking raccoon and a sentient, self-reproducing tree, Guardians of the Galaxy is more ostensibly a “comedy” than other Marvel properties like Thor and Captain America, but it offers roughly the same amount of jokey and juvenile bickering as those other films. Far from upending the Marvel formula, this is just another entry in its spreadsheet, The Avengers minus the monstrous egos.

After Quill takes off with the orb, he becomes the target of intergalactic bounty hunters—first, a beautiful, green-skinned Ronan loyalist (Zoe Saldana) whose motivation changes whenever the pace lags, and then an acerbic talking raccoon named Rocket. Bradley Cooper voices the role of Rocket, and Vin Diesel provides the grunts of his sidekick Groot, an anthropomorphic tree who can only speak the words, “I am Groot,” yet who still holds an easy rapport with the raccoon.

Rocket and Groot’s friendship is the most successful aspect of the film, and suggests the same sort of deep affection between fantastical creatures that made the original Star Wars universe so fascinating. It’s a likeable cast all around, especially when WCW wrestler Dave Bautista joins the team as Drax, a musclebound, blotched-red alien with a grudge against Ronan. I want to see a movie with these actors playing these characters learning and bonding through their adventures, but the problem is that Gunn can barely squeeze in a few minutes of uninspired squabbling and pat lesson-learning between nonthreatening, nonstop special effects fireworks and inconsequential plot garbage.

Before that sublime “Come and Get Your Love” sequence described above, Guardians of the Galaxy indulges in a little universe building of its own. In a brief precredits scene, a young Peter sees his mother die from cancer, and overwhelmed with grief, he escapes into a nearby field, where he gets picked up by a passing spaceship. Quill’s origin story is then ignored until the conclusion, and this scene only adds two more plot MacGuffins for Gunn to juggle, all leading to an unconvincing “swing away” moment.

Of course, the real point is to create a through line to the next movie: Just like everything else in the Marvel cinematic universe, Guardians of the Galaxy exists solely to advertise its own as-yet-unmade sequels.