Hey Sacramento, Stockton, insecure much?

Earlier this month, when SN&R reporter Hugh Biggar first mentioned the Forbes “Most Miserable Cities” list—naming Stockton and Sacramento as the most and fifth most miserable cities in America, respectively—I thought he handled it just right.

It was funny, kind of interesting, but not to be taken too seriously. In other words, it was a nice little blog post. But a couple of days later, The Sacramento Bee devoted not one but two front-page stories to the misery ranking.

As if it was news. As if it somehow mattered at all.

My man Marcos Breton even put down the hippie lettuce long enough to grumble about the Forbes ranking in one of his columns. City reporter Ryan Lillis blogged about it the same day. And it was evoked yet again at Sacbee.com, in a Phillip Reese blog post about all the ways in which Detroit and Buffalo, N.Y., are more awful than Sacramento.

Jesus, Team Scoopy. Chill.

The whining continued a couple of days later, with two new mentions of the misery ranking in the Bee’s Outbound and Business sections. And there was a teaser on the back of the A section, throwing readers back to the blog about Detroit being more miserable than Sac.

Apparently Forbes really poked a sore spot over at 21st and Q streets. “We’re not miserable, damn it. We’re not, we’re not.”

At least we’re not Stockton, which is even more miserably insecure about Forbes’ meaningless diss. Peter Jaffe, director of the Stockton Symphony, sent an open letter to Forbes editor in chief, Mr. Malcolm Stevenson “Steve” “Flat Tax” Forbes Jr., bemoaning Mudville’s designation as the most miserable town in America.

“Honestly, do you think city residents across our nation measure their relative state of happiness or misery by your criteria?” Jaffe asks Macolm Stevenson Forbes Jr. in his letter.

Of course they don’t, Peter. In fact, I’d guess they don’t care about the Forbes thing nearly as much as you do.

Still, Jaffe goes on to plead with Forbes:

“We really want to meet you and show you the Stockton we know and love. I’ll bet you a lunch we won’t be the most miserable experience you’ve ever had.”

Yuck. Way to prove Forbes right, Stockton. New motto: “Please, please come to Stockton, it won’t be as awful as you think.”

Compiled from Snog.