Hey, rules: FU!

Just an alt bro tryin’ to get my bike on: When it comes to music, capitalism screws things up. The masses have really bad taste, and bad taste plus revenue potential equals bogus music technology.

For example, who thought it’d be a good idea to put stereos and iPod docks on bikes? Yes, I’m talking about you, cruiser-riding, Sublime-bumping, sidewalk-using pain in the ass. It’s like all you do is ride up and down K Street 24-seven blaring 40 Oz. to Freedom. Thanks.

Get some headphones. Oops, biking with headphones is illegal. But then biking on sidewalks is illegal, too, as per city code 10.76.010. So use the street. And shut off the stereo, which appears to be against the law as well. Here’s a rundown: No amplified sound after sunset, and music cannot exceed 86 decibels (vacuum cleaner) in commercial areas and 55 decibels (normal conversation) in residential areas. Boring, yes, but you have no style. If you were listening to the new Deerhoof or something, however, I probably wouldn’t mind. (Nick Miller)

Boy band? Emcee Carlos “Cawzlos” Lopez is the overexcited crazy one, Mahtie Bush is the shit-talking bad ass and Chase Moore, for the most part, is “the quiet one.” And sitting down with the three Sacramento emcees is like looking after a busload of ADD-inflicted kindergartners at Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory. For every serious statement, there are at least five “yo mama” jokes, and it’s difficult to maintain conversational theme.

But somehow they manage to get across the concept behind The Bridge Tour, a three-emcee traveling hip-hop act that begins at the end of the month. “When it comes to rock [music], touring is what you’re supposed to do. Living Legends, Atmosphere, Aesop Rock—they have that rock-tour mentality,” explains Cawzlos. “When I was in Texas with Middle Class Rut, there was hella rock bands crisscrossing through, coming to shows. That shit ain’t going on here.”

So this week, the emcees will set out on a month-long journey that’ll take them through California and part of Nevada to prove to other hip-hop acts (and to themselves) that a DIY rap road tour can be done. “I feel like we’re at the forefront of the way Sacramento looks at how they should go about changing the game,” says Cawzlos. “This is about trailblazing and generating a way for other acts to follow.”

The emcee gives credit to Mr. P Chill and Tribe of Levi for also taking the rock-tour mentality and applying it to hip-hop. Cawzlos, Bush and Moore agree that it’s a new era for independent rap acts. “But it’s not going to be glamorous,” Moore says, looking at the situation realistically.

“And we’re looking for sponsors, too. Anything,” Bush says. They’ll take whatever: a tank of gas, 100 bucks, food stamps, sexual favors. They just need support. If nothing else, go to a show. It’ll be fun.

Their first show’s in Portland, Ore., on Halloween; then they come back home for a Thursday, November 6, show at The Distillery; then it’s off to Woodland, Citrus Heights, San Francisco, Santa Clarita and Las Vegas.

The trio talks at once, trying to stay on topic, but rarely hitting the overriding point. Cawzlos looks at Bush, who’s unshaven and obviously tired: “Take that dread off your chin,” he says, pointing at his scruff.

“Fuck you,” Bush says.

It’ll be an interesting tour, to say the least.

For a full tour schedule, to give them money or to let them stay in your mansion, visit www.myspace.com/mahtiebush916. (Josh Fernandez)