Hempy holidays

I’m not sure what to get my stoner friends for the holidays. Any advice?

—Auntie Grinch

Of course I do! I love the Holidays! Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, and happy “I don’t believe in religion but I love giving gifts and drinking hot cocoa in the winter” to you.

Shopping for stoners is easy. Buy them some weed. I mean, you could find some other things, like pipes or fancy rolling papers. (Beautiful Burns makes great rolling papers using all natural inks and dyes.) Or, perhaps a tour of cool smoke spots in San Francisco and Sonoma would be a fun date. Emerald Farm tours and Emerald Country Tours are both good choices. If your stoner friend likes to read books, there are plenty to choose from. I always recommend Jack Herer’s The Emperor Wears No Clothes because it is an incredibly comprehensive chronicle of the possibilities with hemp plants, and an in-depth look at how cannabis was made illegal. Ed Rosenthal and Jorge Cervantes publish great books about weed, and there are also a ton of cookbooks and craft books that highlight the many uses of cannabis. Hell, you can make them some cookies or cakes. Just use cannabis-infused butter or oil in your favorite recipe and your gifts will be lit and uplifting.

Maybe your stoner friends don’t like to read, eat or go on trips. Weird, but OK. Buy them some socks. Everyone over the age of 21 likes a fresh pair of socks. You can find socks with pot leaves or other cannabis-infused designs at darn near every sock shop in town. It’s the new thing. My point is, just about everything you can think of as a regular gift, you can probably find a pot-themed version of it somewhere. Except for maybe a vacuum cleaner. But honestly, if you’re gonna give someone a vacuum cleaner as a gift, you may want to reevaluate your relationship. Have a happy and healthy holiday season.

Greetings and salutations, O wise prophet of pot! What do you think will happen in the world of weed in 2019?

—Dabstradamus

The future is … hazy. Here in California, I hope that the Bureau of Cannabis Control expanding the list of places where folks can hold events will help the cannabis community continue their beloved farmers markets, weed tastings and fancy dinners. I would also hope that the counties and cities that still have laws against cannabis businesses get their shit together and start accepting the new reality. Keeping cannabis illegal in your county doesn’t stop “illegal” cannabis businesses; it just keeps your county from getting in on the tax revenue and good jobs that the cannabis industry provides. On the national and international tip, I expect a few more states to legalize weed in the next year or two, and for Canada to be the leader in international cannabis exporting, at least until the U.S. manages to get its act together.