He’ll make you flip!

Watching presidential wannabes hog up airtime leaves me wishing My Honey Buns was running for something so he could silence know-nothings calling him a flip-flopper. Let him squint into a camera menacingly while he makes sense of having:

• vilified Gray Davis for burdening the Golden State with 7 percent annual spending growth, $14 billion annual budget deficits and a whopping $100 billion budget, while himself now overseeing 11 percent annual spending growth, a self-forecasted $14.5 billion shortfall and an iron jaw-dropping $145 billion spending plan;

• told the Sacramento Bee during the ’03 recall campaign that he’d come here to “clean house. I don’t have to take money from anybody. I have plenty of money,” but then taking more money from anybody—and everybody—than anyone in state history;

• said in an ’03 Sac State recall debate that we must insure every child, but then two years later as governor vetoing a bill that would have done just that … and now demanding everyone be insured;

• enthusiastically supported George W. Bush in ’04, but telling our own KCRA two years later while campaigning for re-election, “To me it makes no difference if one is a Republican president or a Democratic president”;

• declared an era of “post-partisanship” upon his ’06 re-election, but going on to do everything in his power to infuriate one party: his own;

I must be forgetting something: called Proposition 187 “a mistake” even though he voted for it—check; vetoed affordable prescription-drug legislation, then pushed his own—check; ruled out support of a Democrat term-limit scheme unless it included serious, independent redistricting, but now endorses Proposition 93 without the redistricting caveat—check … and mate!

In July of ’06, Schwarzy told the Orange County Register, “I think that I have not changed on any of my positions.” Last week, he told the editorial board of the Register’s biggest competitor, the L.A. “By God” Times: “I have learned a lot of things where I felt one way before I went into office, and all of a sudden you learn things are not quite this way and you change. People call it flip-flopping. I would rather flip-flop when I see something is a wrong idea than get stuck with it and stay with it and [keep making] the same mistake.”

To recap: He has not changed his positions and is OK with being called a flip-flopper because it shows he has changed his positions.

How can you not love the lug for undercutting those who call him a flip-flopper by taking ownership—and pride in—his flip-flops?