Handbills of the living dead

I was walking down a Midtown alley last Friday night, hurrying to meet some friends. The echo of my steps reverberated off the stone walls that bordered the shadowy corridor. I picked up my pace, anxious to reach the relative safety of a public street.

Suddenly, a shape emerged from a doorway in front of me. Backlit by streetlights, it looked like a man—a raggedly dressed man. He was limping toward me and grunting. As he moved closer, I could see he wasn’t quite human. His complexion—where he still had one—was gray and rotting, his eyes were invisible in the sunken regions of his face, and the fetid smell emanating from him overpowered the alley’s dumpsters. It was an honest to goodness zombie!

“I know what you want,” I yelled, “but you can’t eat my brains!” He cocked his head quizzically. “I’m still using them,” I explained.

He shrugged and pressed a piece of paper into my hand. It was a flier for the Trash Film Orgy midnight-movie festival. “Oh!” I said with relief. “You’re with TFO.” If he’d had eyes, he would have rolled them. He continued down the alley, leaving me to ponder the six-week lineup of B-movie marvels.

This Saturday, the series kicks off with a zombie parade down K Street and a screening of Return of the Living Dead. July 3, Sacramento’s own Riff Randals play at a showing of Rock ’n’ Roll High School. (The ghost of Joey Ramone will make an appearance—gabba gabba boo!) Italian gore and local professional wrestlers combine forces on July 10 for Demons. July 17 features Destroy All Monsters and a homage to Godzilla. Sexy space aliens run rampant on July 24 for Barbarella. And the annual Trash ’Til Dawn finale on July 31 promises an all-night slumber party with bloody burlesque by Cherry Malone.

All shows are Saturdays at midnight at the Crest Theatre, 1013 K Street. Admission is $9.50 or $8.50 for people in costume. Visit www.trashfilmorgy.com for more info, and hold onto your brains!