Fruitful minds

Most Amazon.com customer reviews are typical: “Loved it.” “Hated it.” “Meh.”

On occasion, however, reviewers go rogue by turning a simple star-rating system into a viral sensation. Bic's Cristal For Her Ball Pens, for example, have earned nearly a thousand scathingly snarky reviews for their pastel-colored “elegant design.” (“Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with!”).

Reviewers have also set their critical thinking skills upon the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, a plastic, banana-shaped device used to slice that nanner in one fell swoop. Touted by its manufacturer as “safe and fun for children,” the product is (naturally) overly ripe for sarcastic fodder: “My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices …You know, the old ‘I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas,' … The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change.”

The gadget, which retails for $9.98, currently boasts nearly 2,000 reviews.

Perfect reading material to pair with a bowl of cereal topped with, well, you know. http://tinyurl.com/afhqxmp.