Cry havoc!

Once more unto the airwaves! Soldiers aren’t the only ones getting ready for battle. The media has been preparing, too. Last week, Bites spied an eye-opening, internal memo written to the troops from KFBK Operations Manager Ken Kohl. Titled “War Plans,” the alarming document outlines how employees of KFBK and KSTE are expected to proceed following “a major terror attack or after the war begins.” (Both stations are owned by the powerful radio conglomerate Clear Channel Communications.) Written in ballistic prose with—how shall Bites say it—plenty of intensity (“!!!”), the memo alerted soldiers, er, employees that local coverage should be swift, complete and cross-promotional. “Remember! We ARE about to be at WAR,” the capitalization-challenged memo read. Troops were advised to start lining up possible interviews and stories the minute something war-like happens. “DO NOT worry about waking up people,” the memo thunders. “There’s a war going on! … YOU CANNOT OVERKILL THIS STORY!”

Kohl said he was stunned to find this memo he’d sent to 35 Sacramento employees suddenly making global laps around the Internet. “I have no idea how it got out,” he told Bites. “But I can tell you it has the distinct feeling of a violation of privacy. It’s like somebody’s read your personal mail or gone through your underwear drawer.” No kidding. But lest readers think Bites has singled out KFBK for abuse, rest assured, different versions of similar memos surely are circulating at news outlets all across the country.

Sweeps be not proud: Looks like Assemblyman Steve Samuelian is turning into the Central Valley’s second coming of Gary Condit. The February 1 incident in which police pulled Samuelian over for cruising Prostitute Boulevard in his state-leased SUV stayed private for nearly a week. But Fresno Bee political reporter John Ellis broke the story February 7. Since then, unfortunately for the first-term Clovis Republican, Fresno TV news has had a feeding frenzy over it, with some crews attempting Condit-style ambushes. That’s what you get when your sex scandal breaks during February—sweeps month.

Fresno rock station KRZR got in on the fun, too. After hearing about Samuelian’s alleged sex-finding troubles, an afternoon DJ sent a gift to Samuelian’s Fresno office—a blow-up sex doll, fully inflated and carried over by a couple guys from the station—all live on the air. Samuelian staffers locked the door and called the cops.

Meanwhile, some loyal Republicans say the episode is just liberal media bias. A couple of local GOP activists held a tiny protest outside The Fresno Bee’s office on February 11. “We … DEMAND that you cease and desist from this politically motivated witch hunt,” their flier said. However, it’s Samuelian who should do the apologizing, at least according to several top Republicans who backed him in the past and who are calling for his resignation. They include powerful Representative George Radanovich, R-Mariposa, Samuelian’s ex-boss.

All KJ, all the time: Community re-development champion, former NBA star and school charterer Kevin Johnson is about to add media mogul to his résumé. KJ’s St. Hope Corp. is planning to launch a newspaper, tentatively named the Oak Park Journal, to cover that community sometime later this year. St. Hope spokeswoman Stefanie Simon said the journal would be a true community paper, not just the house organ for St. Hope. “It’s not really about St. Hope at all. It’s about the people of this community,” said Simon. When it comes to the media, Bites figures the more the merrier. Still, it crossed Bites’ mind that the Oak Park Journal might present unwelcome competition for the long-established Sacramento Observer, the city’s leading African-American paper, which has a strong presence in Oak Park.

But the good Dr. William Lee, longtime publisher of the Observer, brushed the impertinent thought aside: “We welcome anything they can do to bring attention to this community.” Still, Lee added that he was “befuddled” at all the media attention given to St. Hope recently, as though that outfit was the only thing happening in Oak Park. “I’m very disturbed that all of a sudden Oak Park is being ‘discovered,’ ” said Lee.